So, after eight months of being terrorized, I decided to declare war on my insect invaders. I had made a limited uprising attempt about a month ago, when I caulked up the openings along the baseboards and the cupboards around the sink. But this only seemed to enrage them, so more drastic action was needed.
I had been secretly formulating a plan of attack, and yesterday it was put into action. First of all, I cut off the major points of retreat by blocking up any open spaces leading behind all the cupboards and drawers in the kitchen. This was easier said than done - there were a lot more of these openings than I had anticipated, and many of them were in very difficult to reach places. The bugs almost scored a major victory when I came very close to falling backwards off my countertop. But luckily I was able to grab hold of the top of the cupboard and brace myself, just in time.
Once this was finished, it was on to part two of the plan, which was to remove all hiding places within the cupboards and drawers. Everything had to come out. This basically consisted of a lot of me moving things, bugs running out, and me running around the kitchen going "Ew, ew, ew!" :-) Finally, everything was out, and the bugs were trapped in the open cupboards with no way back to their secret headquarters. Then came the secret weapon - the big bottle of Raid! All cupboards and drawers were sprayed and then closed, to allow the fumes to do their work. To avoid this biological warfare backfiring on us, Tiger and I left the apartment to go sit in the park and contemplate the final phases of the plan.
Upon returning, I opened the cupboards and drawers one at a time, and caught any survivors that were trying to escape. Then it was time to bury the dead, which was a very unpleasant task, but it had to be done. Finally, it was time to wash all remnants of the fighting away, and return the cupboard belongings to their rightful place.
It may take a few days to determine the success of this campaign, but I am optimistic. I decided to try a sneak attack at night, which is their favourite time for gaining territory, and was able to apprehend two more would-be assailants. Because of the small numbers, I am hoping these were simply renegade warriors who were left behind when the retreat lines were blocked.
However, the bug commanders can claim some small satisfaction in the fact that I am hardly able to move today - spending all day bending over and crawling around cupboards and under the sink and on top of counters did not do my back and neck any good. So the rest of my cleaning efforts might have to wait until tomorrow, unless I get a sudden burst of energy this evening.
Postscript: My apologies to anyone who is offended by the killing of the bugs - however, until they decide to contribute to the rent, I reserve the right to remove them from my room. Thank you. :-)
